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So when you actually approach her, it’s almost like you have this “campaign” ready for why you’re awesome dating material.It may not even be conscious, but you try to play up these so-called “strengths” while you’re around her.And even worse, you try to be chivalrous to the point where it’s almost laughable—insisting on buying her every single drink and attending to her every need: “Oh, do you need a tissue for your mascara?I can go to the bathroom and grab one for you…”Don’t get me wrong. But when you go overboard you come off as awkward or too intensely focused on her. Because all of your actions are based on the false assumption that she can consciously choose to be attracted to you.And if a woman thinks you don’t care about yourself, why should she care about you?
On the other hand, if a man doesn’t seem like he cares about his appearance, it looks like he doesn’t hold himself in very high regard.
I know it might sound like the usual line of empty advice: “all you need to do is be more confident around women, and you’ll get way more dates.”As anyone who’s ever felt insecure or depressed knows, it’s pretty hard to just summon confidence out of thin air. In truth, what you need is “a reason to believe.”In the world of marketing and advertising, this is one of the classic lessons you’ll hear from legends like David Ogilvy.
When you’re marketing a product, you can’t just say “Brand X. ” Sure, that’s what you want people to think and feel.
It took me a long time to understand this idea, and I didn’t want to believe it.
I thought, if a woman is going to turn me down because of some superficial thing like the way I dress, then she’s shallow…and why would I want to date her.
Unique features, benefits—something substantial to sink their teeth into. I don’t know, but by providing that point as a reason to believe, it makes the quality of the product more believable.